Saturday, February 20, 2010

Why ruin good tea like that?

The Ever Awesome Madame Healey, Eternally Unfettered Madame Kalin and I, Sir Tessargh, ventured to the theatre yestereve, and because less-than-stella vampire films are something of a tradition of ours, we saw Daybreakers.

Which I was expecting to be utter shyte.

And it wasn't! Can you imagine what a pleasant surprise it was to find my interest perking and my curiosity raising its jaded old head?

It's a decade in the future, with the world's population made up of vampires, and only some 8% actual human beings left. The majority of that percentage is locked up in a literal blood bank, nom nom nom.

But the numbers don't work, and they're running out of humans, and thus blood. Blood deprivation leads to a devolution from pretty sleek strong vampire into bat-ugly nosferatu, so not only are they going to starve to death, they're going to go crazy too.

And oh my goodness, there are so many juicy throwaway details in the movie! News bulletins that the biggest cause of bush fires was vampiric animals caught out in the sunlight! The rise in suicide from kids who will never age! The (very relevant) question of what to do with food shortages. What to do with the devolved vampires. The commercial realities of devising a blood substitute verses the basic necessities of life. An Uncle Sam poster ordering you to join the vampire army, kiosks selling coffee with 20% blood in your blood type of choice, oh, it was wonderful.

Just a pity the main plot was made of sweaty rancid cheap scrotum.

Seriously. All the trappings, all the paraphernalia in the film, the textures and furnishings there only to add depth: they were boss! King! They were Elvis! We sat around afterward discussing the implications of the politics and logistics involved in running a country that just happened to be populated by vampires. Homeless vampires and cleaner vampires and train driver vampires.


You don't ruin tea by putting blood in it. You don't ruin an awesome idea by putting a shit plot in it.

(And exactly where was that bat in the water tank hiding?)

1 comment:

  1. "Just a pity the main plot was made of sweaty rancid cheap scrotum."

    Damn but you have a great turn of phrase.