Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Predestined (to a point): MAJORITY RULE

These sheets have a 10,000 thread count. It could be higher, but there comes a point where quality can no longer be measured, and merely falls in that vast and unquantifiable realm of luxury. These sheets speak to you through your skin, and they aren't so much talking as kissing your back and ankles and when you shift, ever so slightly, oh goodness.

These pillows have been filled with the downy feathers of two week old baby FlufferBirds, lovingly plucked by VestalVirginBots, spun with the hair of plump burbling blonde babies and stuffed in something that also has an astronomically high thread count. Your head is sunk in one, and while it supports you perfectly, just perfectly, you’ve no peripheral vision and your ears are covered. No wonder you slept so well.

This mattress is...kinda weird.

As sleep recedes slow and gentle you open your eyes. Great veils of velvet obscure the ceiling. And the walls. You raise your head, but don’t quite escape the pillow.

"Good morning," the ButlerBot says. "I trust you slept well. Will you be taking breakfast in bed today?"

a. Not this morning, please pass my clothes.

b. Yes! I want a crocodile steak. With tomato sauce. And a toasted muffin. Is there any vegemite?

c. Wait…er, where am I?


  1. Anonymous24/9/08 22:52

    b)! I am staying in that bed, thank you.

  2. Anonymous25/9/08 00:11


    Step one, gather information. Always.

  3. I was going to say something meaningful but my own pillows (stuffed with something far less beguiling) are now calling to me and .....zzzzzzzzzzzzz

  4. (c) followed by (b). And a coffee too, please.

  5. b) A very large gin and tonic with lemon, a packet of clove flavoured ciggaretts, and a sushi platter with some mescal on the side.

    c)I'd say Gitmo and the're just playing with you. Or you went home with a spider.

  6. Anonymous25/9/08 11:53

    Ooh, awesome idea. (Though dammit, I want to see the entire tree! I always backtracked in my CYOA books as well...)

    Anyway, c) it'll have to be...

  7. Anonymous25/9/08 15:10

    Good to see you back :)