Monday, January 07, 2008

Some Things Sir Tessa Would Like To Have, Just In Case Anyone Is Listening, Who Might Care Enough To Do Something About These Things, Which Is Highly Unlikely, But You Never Know

Firstly, I would like this headache, this back-off-regroup-fuck-my-head-with-a-spatula headache, that I have been carrying for a week, to go away.

If I cannot have that, then I would like someone on standby to make the appropriate sympathetic noises when I gripe about said headache.

Failing that, I would like someone to teach the pigeons to sound symathetic.

And if I can have none of those things, then I'd like a grand piano.

Preferrably dropped from a great height.

Actually, never mind. I'll just take the piano. It'll save time.


  1. Anonymous7/1/08 08:24

    that's some hardass pigeons you have 'round your way. i remember the pigeons in adelaide sounding muy sympatico every summer when visiting my grandparents. maybe adelaidean pigeons have less stressful lives than swanston st pigeons.

  2. Anonymous7/1/08 11:35

    I can't help with the headache, so here are some sympathetic noises:

    *mm... you poor thing... there, there*

    Repeat as necessary.

  3. *pets* When do you get to trade your head in for a new model?

  4. They just sound like they're high. All the time. Except at 3am, then I'm pretty sure all the fuss they make is 'cause they're getting randy.

    Ha, you're good at that, Chris. :p

    Jaime, I don't think I do. Lost the receipt.