Sunday, May 20, 2007

Music = Mountains

I went to the Nine Inch Nails concert alone. Some people flip out when they discover that I willingly go to movies on my own, so I didn't advertise this. It doesn't faze me, and I've never been able to explain how experiencing something alone makes it purer.

It was brilliant. I stood in a crowd of total strangers, strangers who ignored me and expected nothing from me, totally incognito, and loved it. There was nothing for me to do, nothing to fill up my head except a gazillion decibles of industrial rage.

For some people, music is a social thing. They get together over it, talk about it, share it.

For me, it's ridiculously intensely personal, and I don't want to share it with anyone, because if they judge it, they're judging me.

Being swallowed up and made insignificant by loud music had the same calming, clensing, euphoric affect as standing alone in the mountains. I'm at my highest when the world around me makes me so small, I cease to exist, even to myself.


  1. I really like going to the movies and shopping alone too. I enjoy it more because no one can judge me and tell me what I'm about to buy is ugly. It's my fucking choice, everyone has their own taste. I feel more brave to sit alone in a movie theater then to walk alone through the halls of my school.

  2. Anonymous20/5/07 07:27

    I like going to movies alone, too. I've not been to a concert alone, though I would. It's not like you can chat while at a concert, can you?

    I go a little crazy when I'm on a mountain-side or -top. Or when the wind is strong enough to scour straight through me.

  3. Some people don't know how to be alone, Emily. I don't know how to be around other people every minute of the day.

    Deb, wind doesn't calm me. It tends to make me restless as all hell.

  4. Anonymous20/5/07 15:30

    I like to do things alone too. Although I've never gone to the movies or to a concert by myself...
    not that I go to many even with other people.

    I do prefer to shop alone though. The few times I've wanted people's opinion and gone with others to do shopping they haven't been as helpful as I would have hoped anyways. *shrug*

    I love walking by myself. Doesn't matter where to. I find that very relaxing.

  5. i SO get the going to see music alone thing.

  6. Yay for the movie loners! I do it, too. And I'd totally go to a concert on my own - because who needs to talk during a show?

  7. I'm mixed - I like to shop alone, but see a movie with someone.
    For music, it depends on the music - for the music I like the best, it is much better alone, as it's a very personal experience, but if it's just music I enjoy on a more general level, then having someone to talk about it with afterwards is a good thing :)

  8. I go to movies and shows and shopping alone ALL THE TIME. It's not that I hate going with other people (depending on who it is, of course); it's just that I don't mind going by myself.

    The only activity I don't enjoy doing by myself is eating out at a restaurant. If I'm just sitting down for five minutes and stuffing my face, fine, but an actual sit down meal with a server and a busboy? Even a book doesn't make me feel comfortable.

  9. I confess to going to restaurants alone too. Although usually with a book, or notebook for writing in.

    Now I'm just making myself look worse, aren't I.