Friday, November 28, 2008

Too old to have imaginary friends, too young to live without 'em.

That was my last nightshift for the year, and that was the last 7wishes.

It was in its death throes in IV, but I wanted to complete the set, so to speak. One round of madness for every madness inducing shift of the year. I could go on - no shortage of ideas here - but they're getting same-same, and I'm twatty enough, and in love with the dream enough, to not want stagnation to go any deeper.

Also...That's 36 short stories written and posted, 39 if you count the ones I discarded, 41 if you count the CYOAs, 42 if you count that sleep story. 42 short stories written in less than a year.

Pardon me, but that's fucking insane. Not a "wow, look at me, I'm on fiiiire!" insanity either. That's a purely "that's just plain ridiculous," insanity. And I'm daft enough to wonder why I didn't finish my novel this year. I'm giving over the writing room in my brain to the novel now. I need to finish it before I get eaten by a shark or thrown in front of a train, because if I die without finishing this thing, I will come back as a very irate ghost. Which, you know, I'd rather avoid.

But mostly I have to let them go as I'm letting a lot of the year go.

The first stories hatched on a very bad night. They were a feverish exercise in distraction, something to fixate on, to calm down and come down and give me enough space to remember how to breathe. Some of them I told to amuse myself, some of them to say things I didn't know how to say, but all of them were created because I didn't know how else to deal with grief, rage, fury, despair and horror.

I don't think they belong to me any more. Posting them turned them into something else, as defined by you. I think you turned them into something better than their origins.

I couldn't see any wonder in the world or myself, so I wrote wonder into all the places I needed it to be. I don't need to anymore. It doesn't matter how much I enjoy writing them, or how much I enjoy having you read them - these stories came from a terrible place, and I can't get there any more, and I hope I never have to again.



Thank you Russell, Chris, Mike, Jaime, Colin, Jeff, Terry, Nadine, Matt, Yunyu, Kirsten, Ben, Sander, Laurie, Scott, the Mysterious ~, Larry, Gillian, Barry, Stuart, Falkman, Timblynod, (holy moly there are a lot of you), Cory, Gareth, Libbette, Matthew, Gigi, Nautiloid, Ross, Selena, DS, Arthur Miller, Steve, Dave, and any one else I missed for all your wonderful comments, special thanks to Andy for saying "please don't delete them", and thanks to everyone and anyone who spent some minutes of their lives in reading.

I hope you all found something worth finding.

I did.

<3

16 comments:

  1. Matthew F.28/11/08 07:31

    Thank you for adding a significant bright spot to my daily internets.

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  2. If there was ever anything worth finding for us in those stories, it was always you.

    Sometimes the you in one story was different from the you in another story, but underneath everything, it was always the same you.

    Good luck with the novel, and with the night shifts of the future.

    : )

    --Mike

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  3. Some of the stories you've posted have been up there with the best writing I've seen this year, regardless of genre, format, medium, etc.

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  4. I loved those stories. I still love them but I'm in denial, since you've finished the sequence. They're the sort of reading that feels easy and fun, but lingers.

    Thank you.

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  5. 7wishes were very often the daily highlight of my internet reading, so thank *you*. :)

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  6. Thank you for giving us Bert, the poor white knight with his lighthouse (I still feel kinda sorry for him), sharks, The King, Florence, and all the others. But most of all, thank you for giving us yourself, even if it was only the you of this past year, and no longer the you of the future.

    I'll be looking forward to the novel. :)

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  7. Thanks for sharing them. I'll miss reading them but I'll be looking forward to anything else you write. :)

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  8. Its always a treat clicking on the link to your blog. It very often distracts me (if even for minutes at a time)from the drudgery of my real life existence...or lack of one.

    Gracias, Señora.

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  9. You guys are way too kind. And now my ears have gone red. Hee.

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  10. I hope you took a picture of you with red ears for us to enjoy.

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  11. Thank you for your generosity in posting these treats, and may much-deserved good karma come back to you in the form you most desire it!

    I wouldn't be surprised to find these collected and reprinted in a Book of Tessa one day.

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  12. They helped me find my sense of wonder.

    'There's no such thing as magic, but the world is a magical place'

    Sage advice...

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  13. +++And now my ears have gone red+++

    Tessa the Bottersnike.

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  14. -poik-

    I loved them. I know we always hate our own stuff- God knows I do it too- but IIIIIIII loved them. I enjoyed reading them very much. They have been an incredibly fulfilling snack.

    Love you, too, crabadger.

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  15. Awww We love reading your stuff, Tess. I just hope things get better. And "crossing fingers" that this is maybe your last nightshift?

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  16. Things are better, much better, unbelievably better.

    But I daresay there'll be more nightshifts coming up on the horizon in January. Bleeeeh.

    Thanks again guys. When I'm dead and therefore a famous and brilliant writer you guys will be so hip. ;p

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