Friday, September 04, 2009

I try not to use the phrase "I wish-". I don't like what it signifies. A magic wand. An easy way out. All your desires to just happen, like that, with no effort on your part. As if the universe were listening. As if the universe cared. As if you deserved it. Say it too often, and you start to expect someone to listen, and make it so. You wind up waiting for your wish to be granted without even noticing.

I want nothing I can't do for myself.

So I try not to say it. Obscene words get more action than "I wish". I catch myself if it even enters my thoughts, and I take it all back, that plaintive cry for some sort of intervention, even in the privacy of my own skull, and I do not wish for anything. I will make everything I want to happen through my own efforts or I will live without. That is what I choose. That is what I want.

Sometimes, it is easy to enforce this censorship.

Sometimes, it is not.

1 comment:

  1. Anonymous5/9/09 12:10

    If I catch you buying an instant scratch-it, I will accuse you of wishing by action not word.