WOT I DID ON MY WEEKEND, by Sir Tessa (age 26)
First, there was the hussying up, 'cause when going to a Rufus Wainwright concert, it is necessary to look hot. Deb actually looks hot all the time, so this wasn't an issue for her. I, on the other hand, had to sacrifice three fluffy white rabbits to the Gods of Hott Smex before I got my groove on. This did not impress Deb, as she had to clean up sacrificed rabbits. Clearly I could not, that would ruin the whole hottness I'd just acquired. Rabbit blood just doesn't go with my mojo.
Second, there was a whole lot of fabulous music, sparkly things, somersaults, and cross dressing.
Third, despite hotness, Rufus did not love us.
Fourth, we have discovered my other special mutant power - the ability to make any animal turn its back as soon as I am in the area. I shit you not. I just had to touch my camera to make even the damn pigeons turn and present butt. The tree kangaroo presented butt. The bear presented butt. The elephant presented butt. Even the snakes presented butt and they don't have butt. The gorilla presented incredible butt. I am a class five mutant. They will not let me join the X-men. Fuckers.
Fifth, the appearance of one Andy (who is tall, (wears) dark (clothes), and handsome), some cute Lolita girl who should have been in Tokyo, and a whole lot of sunburn.
Sixth, some rather intimidating pimpage which broke my site stats, and is lies and slander. I am not surprising. I say the same things over and over, such as "I can't sleep," and "oh I hate myself what a world what a world," and "I can't sleep," and "dude seriously dude wtf" and that oldie but goldie, "I can't sleep," followed shortly by, "I can't sleep." I also frequently ask for a pony. The internet has not provided me with a pony. It's possible I have used my one "ask and ye shall receive!" card on an angry penguin army. Regardless, I find being watched by so many people at quite alarming, so behold! I am crafty and cunning, and shall distract you with an ADORABLE
MEERKAT ORGY. COMPLETE WITH ADORABLE LITTLE MEERKAT TESTICLES AND ADORABLE LITTLE MEERKAT MUFF.