There's a full-length mirror on the back of my bedroom door. The first thing I see when I get up in the morning is me. All of me. Ugly as all fuck.
There's a dresser mirror in my old bedroom, but the dresser itself was so piled with books and comics and sundry that it seeing my reflection in it wasn't an issue.
Maybe it's just me, but I really can't deal with that first thing in the morning. Methinks it's contributing to this growing urge to smash my face in broken glass.
I can't even cover it. It's just glass stuck to the door. Nothing to hook anything over. I suppose I could toilet paper it. Or, something- post-it notes. Yes. One of those giant multicoloured pads should do it. I can wake up to a rainbow of obnoxious smiley faces every single fucking day!
...
Maybe I should just stick to the ugly.
Post it notes!
ReplyDeleteI have gone through this same thought pattern every week or so for a decade now. My wardrobe doors are mirrors. That's an entire god-damn wall of ugly in the morning. I think it constitutes cruel and unusual torture and should therefore be illegal under the Geneva Convention - but if I try to cover it up, I face the prospect of never getting to my clothes again. Hmpf.
ReplyDeleteI'm considering it, First Deb. Trying to think of enough things to doodle on them.
ReplyDeleteUtter commiserations, Second Deb. That'd take a lot of post-it notes to cover.
I got the mirrored wardrobe doors as well, right next to my bed. Handy sometimes, but man, a bit shocking first thing in the morning.
ReplyDeleteBut, you know, I think the smashed face thing would be worse than an occasional glimpse of a startled bleary naked doppelganger.
hmmm, leave the door open - you're the only one in the house, so no need to close yourself away from the rest of the house now.
ReplyDeleteplus, it's cooler in summer that way.
Maybe once ever couple of months I have need of a full length mirror. Meh. It's not an occasional glimpse, every morning, unless I specifically keep my eyes closed till I'm past it.
ReplyDeleteNo freaking way, Mabs. That's like sleeping with the wardrobe doors open. Monsters might come out.
What about pasting up a nice life-sized pirate poster or something. I'd certainly prefer a little Jack Sparrow to myself first thing in the morning.
ReplyDeleteAnd consequently the only mirror I have in my room is tiny. Barely big enough to see my face in. And it's at an angle I have to actually go out of my way to see myself in.
I will trade you: a life sized picture of me for your mirror, in exchange for a life sized picture of you for my mirror, cos I think you're beautiful and last I checked you didn't think I was ass-fugly. But I have the same issues with the mirror on my closet door, which I cannot leave open for the same reason you can't leave your bedroom door open.
ReplyDeleteFair?
That's a fair idea, you two, but I don't want to see -anyone- standing there. Looking at me. Or not looking at me, but still standing there in my room. Sleep funk makes me dumb and I frighten at silly things.
ReplyDeleteAlso, there's no freakin' way I will ever tolerate the existence of a life size picture of me. EVAR. I will draw you a giant stick figure, Nads.