Wednesday, January 09, 2008



“After a hard day’s work assassinating political targets and people who talk at the movies, the last thing I want to do when I get home is kill some more. That’s why I use Mortein Surface Spray! It “lures ‘n kills” cockroaches for up to six months, leaving my carpet a noxious killing ground of death and horror. The decomposing chemical orange smell covers even the scent of murder and blood on my hands. For wholesale insect slaughter, I always turn to Mortein! Thanks Mortein!”

- NinjaTess, Melbourne

7 comments:

  1. actually, you'll still find random cockroach corpses for more than a year after spraying that suff, it's brilliant...heh.

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  2. :)

    Actually, I too had to do some serious roach-slaying with Mortein today. There was a bunch of them in my courtyard. I sprayed 'em. I sprayed 'em good!

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  3. Not familiar with Mortein, but used Ace Hardware's generic brand of Ant & Roach killer to make
    napalm . . .

    What? Why are you staring at me like that?

    It was only once. I swear.

    C'mon . . . everyone knows you can't kill a colony of German roaches with REGULAR roach spray . . . you have to have that extra little bit of UMPH!

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  4. Oh my god. That's just so many kinds of awesome. Ninjas & Shatner? Double awesome :P

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  5. I'm very easily amused.

    Mabs, yeah, I remember. Just want the smell to hurry up and clear off.

    Chris, you went out sword in hand, right?

    Ennis, don't think napalm is such a good idea in small enclosed spaces like mine.

    Ta, Terry. :p

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  6. ...it's Teh Insomnia again, isn't it? Or maybe it's just Teh Krazy...?

    Either way, the roaches don't stand a chance. You should skewer 'em on your sword and make that your war banner thingy.

    Ew.

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  7. I see you an 'ew', and raise you a 'gross'.

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