GFA! GFA!

FAMOUS SITE is R'lyeh, CTHULHU's most cyclopean crib. He was just chilling, checking Facebook when all this obnoxious braying started, and lo! GIANT FLYING ASS MULE. Cthulhu is all, "this is restricted airspace, get out of my yard!" and Anti-Facebook Ass is all, "he-HAAAAAAAAAAW! he-HAAAAAW-dude are you in your undies?"

(I started painting this before reading ~'s comment, which means ~ is in possession of some serious mind control ray.)

GFU! GFU!

You ask for giant flying underpants!



We give you giant flying underpants! An Uluru! Here at Tessadom we bring joy to the world! Huzzah!

GFP! GFP! AFB!

I'm never painting a city again. They're on the ban list with assmonkeys and mosh pits. Seriously. Fuck Paris.



Giant Evil Hover Penguin and a Fish Bomb will do that for me.

GFD! GFD!

Continuing FAMOUS PLACES and GIANT FLYING THINGS, a badly rendered dugong idling above the Great Pyramids (also badly rendered). I know the flippers are too far back and too fat, but correcting that made it look like I was drawing baby seal pups, and aw hell no.

It's a very silly place to put a flying dugong. There's nothing for them to eat there. Be better over a savannah or meadows.

GFSB! GFSB!

Continuing the theme of FAMOUS PLACES and GIANT FLYING THINGS, here we see Mt Fuji and a Sucky Bus. The request was actually for a succubus, but...yanno.

Watch out Godzilla. Step aside Gamera. Roll over Ultraman. Sucky Bus is here.

GFS! GFS!

I failed to achieve critical mass, and so there will be no 7wishes this nightshift. Which means it’s mouse painting time! The evening was spent in the company of the Aanimal who has been tromping about Peru, and has greatly agitated the travel bug in me. Tonight’s painting is a direct result of that; I give you an artist’s impression of Machu Picchu, doodled from memory from hundreds of photos (see, there’s even the Sun Gate and Wayna Picchu, how good am I?).



And some giant flying sharks. Because when people talk about the collapse of civilisation, they’re talking about giant flying sharks. When people talk about sun worship, they’re talking about giant flying sharks. When people talk about anything at all, they’re talking about Giant. Flying. Sharks.

If you disapprove of this elegant piece of art, you have no choice but to tell me what I should be painting. Art critic rage in the comments, go!

OMG IT'S A LION VELOCIRAPTOR GET IN THE CAR

With no requests made it was artists's choice. The artist is feeling decidedly besieged at the moment, and has chosen to illustrate her headspace thus;

She is trapped at the top of a burning building. The burning building happens to be on a ship, which is sinking. There are velociraptors in the burning building. There are sharks in the water. Should she, either through dumb luck or cunning, avoid the raptors, being burned, falling to her death, drowning, and being eaten by sharks, there is still a GIANT FUCKING ASTEROID come to destroy all life on Earth. Halleh-fucking-lujaaaaah.

Many thanks to Larry, Gillian, Andrew, Baz, Chris, ~, and Jaime for their assistance in this surprisingly gruelling endeavour; they share equal blame. FOR SRS.

When our powers combine...!

Here we see SUPERPOPE, who had thought to give PAVAROTTI his Last Rites, only to be surprised as the PHOENIX, which had been chilling in Pavarotti's immense paunch, launches itself into freedom and glory. Superpope takes this badly, and is about to go all hadouken on the phoenix's ass. He has conjured that most holy power, the YEARD OF GOODKIND. In the corner Statler and Waldorf are on COMMENTARY, and they are not impressed. Statler has a GLISTENING SCALP, due to incidents which he will not be relating at this point in time.

I LOVE TO FIIIIIIIIIGHT!

In this piece we see a confrontation between MONKEY, Great Sage, Equal of Heaven, and a MEXICAN NINJA MARIACHI BAND. The NINJAS are attempting to distract Monkey with sweet music, but he thinks their music sucks, and is giving them the finger. The middle ninja has noticed that they are standing in PURPLE COFFEE, and the right-most ninja does not like the way the purple coffee is soaking his feet. Maraccas ninja is doing a stunning surprise attack, and Monkey is totally going to whup his ass. This event takes place outside the window of an actual ass, who is calling the cops on these damn low-life punks.

Unlimited Power

Here we see the Great Nostromo, a MAN WITH UNCANNY NOSTRIL POWERS, using his particular talents for evil. HAIRY MCTAVISH, THE SCOTTISH DANCING WOMBAT, has been caught unawares and, jig disrupted, is about to meet a very sticky end. Along with some detatched assmonkey TOES and autonomous PURPLE COFFEE.

This is all taking place inside the WORLD'S BIGGEST CHIKO ROLL.

Before The Other War

Here we have a depiction of that eternal conflict between ASSMONKEYS and CTHULHU'S GONADS. On the left, BOOMzilla and the CCTV Allstars jam out death metal on their ACCORDIANS, in the first opening salvo of the battle. The assmonkeys mosh and work themselves into a beserker rage. Being as it is very cold, some of the assmonkeys have elected to wear BOOTS. Those who haven't have had some of their TOES fall off, but in the heat of the moment have failed to notice.

To the left is an interdimensional portal through which the offspring of Cthulhu's gonads are pouring. Being as they do not have feet, they are not wearing boots. Nevertheless, the cold affects them and they have shrunken somewhat.

In the centre is the GYPSY CAB DRIVERwho, being a cab driver, has no idea where she is going and has thus found herself between these two titanic armies. Her friend has just noticed WILLIAM SHATNER'S TOUPEE being wielded by one of the gonads, and realises he has finally discovered the CURE to his poison. He's about to spill his PURPLE COFFEE on his lap in his excitement. They're both going to die horribly.

A LONE FIGURE ON A TRICERATOPS is present in the distance. They are eating chips. With gravy.

Mmm. Gravy.

I like to call this piece "Oh Holy Fuck I'm Going To Die".

After The War

What we see here is the aftermath of that most EPIC BATTLE between Cthulhu and ASSMONKEYS, which saw the assmonkeys most victorious. As they prepared themselves for DINNER TIME and armed themselves with SILVERWARE to feast upon his testicles, Cthulhu had the last laugh as his GONADS flew away.

BOOYAH

Here's the deal: instead of 7wishes, you get MS Paint doodles. Because, seriously, that's what the government pays me for. Leave requests, suggestions, lists of random things that are required to appear in the one image in the comments, and I shall paint what tickles my fancy. One artistic atrocity per night.