Recently, I realised I've been taking oral contraceptive for about 10 years, another of those sobering even when sober things. When I moved back to Melbourne I stayed on it because it kept my periods shorter and lighter than off it.
But...bloody hell. 10 years? That's my entire adult life. I remember having TIDES OF BLOOD which lasted anywhere from 7 to 10 days, but 10 years? A lot changes in 10 years. Given my chances of having sex are less than zero-- actually, they're even worse than negative numbers. The potential for sex in my life has strayed into the realm of imaginary numbers, oh yes, the square root of minus one.
Wait, I have to stop laughing at my own joke.
Okay, done now. Where was I?
Control of my period, while convenient, doesn't seem quite enough of a reason to stay on it. I'm not travelling, I'm not fucking, and I don't know that the pill has done much to alter all the crap that heralds the arrival of a period. Cramps have never been much of a problem for me. The pre-period headache might have developed under the pill, but I honestly don't remember. Being crazy and cranky is...a negligible side-effect, yanno. I'm quite capable of doing that on my own.
Finally, when it comes down to it, I'm not comfortable with unnecessary medication.
Initial scouting around the intrawebz was eyebrow raising, considering there seemed to be very little adverse affects occurring from long term use of the pill. Eyebrows went up even more when I came across mentions that the pill can increase depression in already depressed people and oh hellfuck really? OH REALLY? IS THAT A FACT? GET ME OFF THIS THING RIGHT NOW.
Plus, my boobs might shrink. Booyah!
That's all well and good, but I don't believe stopping hormone control cold turkey after 10 years is something that won't have side-effects of its own. More scouting brought me to this thread.
I'm only up to page 5 and I'm scared shitless.
There's all sorts of contrary accounts of side effects from the particular brand I'm taking, some people stating they piled on the weight and the depression, other people saying it was great and nothing changed at all for them, and a couple even said it helped lessen their depression. I haven't been able to find any statement regarding withdrawal symptoms when coming of it, so maybe that means what effects occur may be mild...
I don't know what to do, now. I don't have a particular reason to stay on the pill, and I don't have a particular reason to stop taking it. It can take a year for your body to sort its hormones out and start running normally again. There are people in that thread saying 'oh, 4 months later and it's a bit better, I'm still miserable and depressed though.'
I just stopped drowning. I don't want to start again.
I didn't take my pill this morning.
I don't know what I'll do tomorrow morning.
ETA: Aha! Pre-period migraines are pill related. Stoopid pill. Also? Read the whole thread and decided the sensible thing to do is sweet fuck all. Huge intense depression plus dizziness plus fatigue for the possibility of mildly less depression and smaller boobs after a year or more of processing versus staying on something that gives me migraines and might be increasing my depression is...I don't know. It's a decision that can wait till next month. Too freaked out about it right now.