Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Quote Captain Badass

On the few shifts I have that fall in the realm of normal, sane, everyday business hours, I tend to make an effort when dressing. It's in keeping with my usual dress code, which is less about comfort and more about blending in. The only way to blend into the crowd on the 23:08 train from Spencer Street is to look like a scruffy bum.

And the only way to blend into the crowd on the 18:05 train from Spencer Street is to look like an office worker.

Most of the time, exercising extra care in my appearance makes me feel like shit. I'm certain absolutely everyone can see through me at first glance, and are thus able to turn up their noses and snort, because daaaamn I'm a lousy poser.

I've never quite managed to achieve pretty, but thanks to my boots, I've been hitting badass quite regularly.

These boots, you see, I love these boots. They're the bestest, most badass boots in the whole world. They are not, as people are wont to say, made for walking in, oh no. These boots are made for standing on podiums and observing military parades, these boots are made for sitting in rolls royces, these boots are made for commanding the invasion of a foreign country in. Combined with the bestest coat in the world, their powers combine and I become Captain Badass, Your Slick As All Fuck Overlord. Ave moi, bitchez.

Which is pretty interesting. The idea that someone might pay attention to me is pathetically devastating, but I'm more than happy for people to pay attention to my boots. I've heard people talk about getting facial piercing and tattoos for precisely that reason, so that others look at and talk to the body art, not the person.

Still, Captain Badass is not a permanent diversion. Captain Badass does get attention, and while it's amusing every now and then, Tessa is better at being invisible. Even Captain Badass is just a poser, and every poser is seen through eventually. Probably right in the middle of a hostile invasion.