Saturday, September 27, 2008

a. Swim to the edge of the bed, find your clothes and GTFO!

The ButlerBot sighs as you surge into action. The pillow, holy smokes, the pillow! It’s a trap! You flail about like an epileptic fish, the pillow your soft and loving captor, the sheets your decadent bindings. Oh, the pillow! An ill-calculated roll sees you near suffocating in that soft lovingness, but the same move allows you to get your arms beneath you, and you surface, gasping.

At last you can see the room. It’s all pillows and drapes and suspicious stains and burnt out candles and floral patterns and goat testicles.

Aaaugh, must get out must get out. You flounder about the bed, but holy smokes, the bed! It has no edge! The whole damn room is one giant bed and you’re drowning in throw pillows and 10,000 thread count sheets! It is a bog! A terrible bed bog!

“Please don’t spill the porridge on Miss Henry’s sheets,” the ButlerBot says.

a. Throw the damn parsley porridge at the ButlerBot, throw the pillow at the ButlerBot, throw yourself at the ButlerBot, etc.


b. Calm down, be reasonable(ish), request your clothes and a taxi. Quickly. NOW.

5 comments:

  1. Screw being reasonable. The magical incantation "it's a trap" has been uttered. Every biological lifeform for itself! Go a)!

    ^_^

    ReplyDelete
  2. Time for violent action and revolution. a).

    ReplyDelete
  3. a, a, A!

    It's the goat testicles that worry me.

    ReplyDelete
  4. ArthurMiller@OUSalesperson28/9/08 03:37

    @ChrisBarnes
    Goat testicles? Personally I'm a bit more freaked out about the floral patterns. What kind of a monster uses floral patterns as decoration in this day and age?

    Since there's an overwhelming urge to go berserk I'll pretend to be the voice of reason and go for (b). He's such a cultured bot after all. One gets the sense that using a British accent might help.

    ReplyDelete