Thursday, September 25, 2008

c. Wait…er, where am I?

“You are in bed,” the ButlerBot says, with a faint tone of long-suffering and entirely non-judgemental patience that is nevertheless pure scorn. The robot goes on to lay out a silver tray set with lovely fine bone china, made from authentic bones removed with surgical precision from the bodies of authentic Chinese people.

There is a small vase with a jonquil. There is a large deep bowl. It is full of a disgusting green slurry. This is parsley porridge.

a. Do I look like I eat peasant food, you obsolete calculator?


b. Actually, I’m allergic to porridge.


c. Er…so how did I get here?

6 comments:

Kirsten said...

a). better show the butler bot who's mistress quicksmart, the better to send it out for gourmet pizza in the next 30 seconds.

Selena said...

c.

ArthurMiller@OUSalesperson said...

Oh! Oh! Oh! *childish glee*

I'm very tempted to go with (a) but pissing off a giant robot seems a little dangerous. Since it seems unwilling to answer (c) I'd like to take the subtle route with (b).

Master Prudent said...

On second thoughts maybe living dangerously (a) is the way to go.

ArthurMiller@OUSalesperson said...

Er.. sorry Arthur and Prudent are the same person.

Aanimal said...

I'm now afraid that on a) it'll answer "yes, you do"... but a) it'll have to be anyway. ('sides, it has a good chance of getting you out from eating the porridge, too, so no allergic reactions to contend with.) :)