red wine with every meal and absinthe after dinner

• Haha! I'm not hungover!
• There exists no make-up that will stop an asian-blooded monkey from going red when drinking.
• When I make an effort, I am hot. Damn hot. So hot, heads turn and people say, "Wow, Tess, you look hot!" and they all sound surprised.
• This is why I never make an effort. I have to hide my hotness away, or there will conferences and summits about how I contribute to global warming.
• With my bright red face.
• But, you know, if ever Rudolf is retrenched, I could totally take his job. Only his nose was red. I'm a fucking lighthouse.
• Although I don't think I'm all that keen to be harnessed up by a jolly fat man.
• And I'm not that into manual labour.
• He can pull his own sleigh. Would help lower his blood pressure.
• Plus I bet he doesn't pay much for one night of work a year.
• Nah, fuck it. He can install spotlights like all the other rednecks.

PS: T minus 12 days and counting.