Insomnia visited me again last night. It was unexpected, I had and had not done all the things I need to during the day that would normally moderate insomnia off.

I missed my alarm.

The Dragon cannot transcribe the past few minutes of choked silence. I can think of no better way to describe the hour it took me to make a single decision this morning. Choked. Whether to get up, go and simply work late, or call in sick. There were a ridiculous number of factors that I took into consideration when weighing the pros and cons of each. Indecision was paralysing me, and I knew it, and I knew, no, I know that means that I am running too close to empty.

It feels ridiculous saying that, “willing to staytoo close to empty" (the Dragon interpreted that, truth is a slip of the Dragon?) When I have been running on empty for I don't even know any more, I think I remember what it felt like to have will end determination and strength.

The Dragon still cannot translate words thrown tears.

I lay there long enough that eventually the decision was made me, and I called in sick.

Of course, having made the decision I instantly felt better and felt that I could face work to do this. And now I am choking on the same decision a second time . In a

Did I tell you I was referred to a psychiatrist? They have not called back. I can't commit to a decision to go or not to work today this; thought of calling to make an appointment to this is a I can't work on and if five

Don't know what do. There are no safe place is in the world.