Friday, May 06, 2011

Apply Now

Tessadom Inc. is now taking applications for the role of SACRIFICIAL MONKEY.

Your role will include giving up your soul, dignity and possibly your life (not necessarily in that order) to Our Lady of Unseen Tensions, who inflicteth and taketh away Repetitive Strain Injuries.

Responsibilities include: stop Tessa's arms from hurting, appeasing the above mentioned saint, and not getting blood on the carpet.

7 comments:

  1. me, I'm another kind of monkey. Not sacrificable at all.

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  2. Tessa! Funny you should mention it. Is your RSI tendinitis? I had tendinitis in my right wrist about 10 years ago from aggressive drumming and bassing on top of office job work. As silly as it seemed, I saw magnet bracelets advertised at a Walgreens in S.F. to alleviate that sort of pain, and I tried them and for whatever reason, they actually helped. Maybe it was psychosomatic, I didn't care, it helped, and you can't fake wrists not hurting.

    I was just back at my parents' house in the U.S. in April and I found the bracelet in a drawer and thought of you and brought it back with me to Taiwan on the off chance that I could offer it to you.

    It doesn't work for everyone, I know for a fact, and I wouldn't have any great expectations. But if you're willing to try anything, I'd be totally willing to send it to you.

    As I know you've eaten international postage for a greater good, I'd be more than happy to do the same. I think your blog and your expression is awesome and I've found it to have value, and that's reason enough for me.

    Anyway, if you want to chat first or ask questions and find out what kind of nut I really am before sending your address, my email is a gmail account: kojili, or if this is creepy and you're not interested, that's totally understandable, too.

    Unfortunately, this would require giving up none of soul, dignity nor life on my part.

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  3. I have not had a physical examination in approximately 10 years. Is this going to go against my candidacy?

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  4. Hmm, I wonder what kind of results could be got by just a sacrifice of dignity? For instance, I just licked my plate. I could dedicate that renunciation of dignity to the cause.

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  5. I WILL EXAMINE YOU, UNDERDOG.


    ......Kirsten I lick my plate all the time. Am I to understand this is a bad thing?

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  6. I'm sure it's a good thing, along the lines of 'waste not, want not'. And yet, in the eyes of the world, I'm pretty sure it isn't dignified.

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  7. FIE ON THE EYES OF THE WORLD

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