Sunday, December 30, 2007

TMI

Someone, somewhere, came up with the bright idea of putting interesting little facts on the back of the wax paper that seals the sticky side of sanitary pads. The sort of useless triva you get in Christmas crackers, most of which is utter bullcrap, can't be quantified, but entertaining for about 10 seconds none the less.

Today, I was found this;

ODD SPOT #411
hard-boiled eggs will spin.
Uncooked or soft-boiled eggs will not.

...eh? Does that even make sense? Spin in what context exactly? Of course I grabbed an uncooked egg and tested it on the bench, and it span, quite nicely.

The moral of this story is: do not patronise your target audience's intelligence, especially if your target audience consists solely of PMS-rabid harpies.

Seriously, if you're going to make stuff up, at least put some effort into it. Make it interesting. Better yet, give me this job! I'm great at spinning bullshit. I'll make going to the toilet to deal with the fact that you leak blood every month a fun and entertaining experience!

No, really.

6 comments:

  1. I think the egg-spinning thing is that a raw egg's contents slosh around so it wobbles while spinning, while a hard-boiled egg spins smoothly. Or something like that. Someone's spending way too much time investigating egg-spinning, I reckon.

    Good luck with with getting the making-stuff-up-for-tampon-labels job. I for one am unlikely to ever see your work, but I'm sure it'll revolutionise the industry. :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. But it didn't say anything about smooth or wobbly spins, it just said "doesn't spin". That's a flat out statement.

    And, eggs. EGGS. There are more interesting things to lie about. For example, did you know that the shape of a goat's pupil allows it to see x-ray vision?

    ReplyDelete
  3. Wha? How??

    I always knew goats were up to something. They have that look about them that says they know something you don't and they aren't telling.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Well, maybe they chose the egg fact to tie in with the whole ovulation/menstruation thing.
    At least it makes sense thematically.
    Maybe. I don't know. I am but a simple man and your feminine magicks confuse and frighten me.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Notwithstanding the fact that the egg-thing claim is totally false (obviously), if you spin an egg on a benchtop, then tap it with your hand to take away some momentum (hopefully without breaking it open and getting it all over your nice clean bench), a raw egg will actually keep spinning whilst a cooked egg will not.

    Which is actually the opposite of what they're trying to tell you.

    But anyway.

    Happy New Year too. : )

    --Mike

    ReplyDelete
  6. Yeah, Selena, they're not telling you they can see your underwear. :p

    Matt, later, I'll post some more 'facts'. The only theme they have going is 'durrrrrr'.

    Mike! You mess with eggs too much! Heh.

    ReplyDelete