Metal Rooster: an Orderly Thing of Beauty

Feb 8, 1921 to Jan 27, 1922
Feb 5, 1981 to Jan 24, 1982

Rooster is often seen as the original strong silent type, not unlike the Humphrey Bogart and Greto Garbo prototypes.

Heh. Hehehehe.

Most people consider them quite eccentric. Sad to say, relationships with other people are often strained.

I know. What can I say? I'm an arsehole, and an eccentric one at that.

They are quite moody and can be too outspoken.

Moody, yes. Don't know about outspoken. Possibly only in the written word. You know, with shift work being the way it is, there are days I realise I haven't said anything to anyone other than to ask a supervisor to delete something.

Although, there has been mention of a Tessmonster of late, who is apparently quite fierce and kind of scary.

They are often self-centered, but can be quite brave when the situation calls for it.

Yes! Self-centered! Braveness depends on situation! I shall certainly fight to the death for that red bean bun!

On the other hand, Rooster People are quite talented and capable. They are always devoted to their work and have a reputation for being the hardest of workers.

Yeah. For the wrong reasons, unfortunately. I go hard at work, so that I can a) say I'm better than all these other people doing the same job, and b) possibly get a pat on the head. Competitive. King of the castle.

Rooster People are deep thinkers and are pioneers in spirit.

HAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Whatever.

They can experience the greatest of joy in complete solitude. Even though often alone, they rarely experience loneliness. Instead, they enjoy their own company and feel solitude helps them in their quest after knowledge.

I don't know about my 'quest for knowledge'. I just don't like people. That includes you. You suck. And you smell like beans. You're adopted, and now I'm sending you to go live with your robot foster family.

(Mostly, I'm just hiding.)

Shark-tail Soup and fortune cookies are among the keys to good health.

I'm not sure what this has to do with anything. While shark fin soup is most scrumptious, it's also expensive.

Sometimes this one walks around with its head in the cumulus clouds, higher than the stars.

It's called daydreaming. It's called continual internal escapism, with a side order of idealism. (Have I not told you that despite my short stature, I am a great towering intellect?)

You see, this rooster struts around with peacock feathers and they never ever ruffle.

Wrong. My feathers ruffle very easily. It's their nature state.

So much arrogance can make it hard to get along with others, especially when the Rooster is also intolerant of those who are less talented and a bit slower than normal.

Yep. It ain't attractive, but I'm aware it's there, and try to smother it. Although I tell people I'm a nasty person, I'd like to try and be a nice one.

On the other hand, the Metal Rooster is extraordinarily talented. Of all twelve Zodiac signs, this one is probably the most high-minded of them all, with a very clean line of thought.

AAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHHAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!!!!! AAAAHahahahahaaaa...hahaaaa....ha...aaah.

Clean line of thought my arse. For that matter, I'm not entirely sure what 'high-minded' actually means.

The Metal Roosters can distinguish right from wrong very clearly and it doesn't matter which direction they pursue, they always wind up going the right way. If they confront a maze, or big problem, they will immediately see a solution because of their analytical, logical way of thinking.

Well, that's a giant pile of horse shit, that is. Right and wrong are rarely so clean cut, and if I always wind up going the right way, then why don't I own a castle in the mountains with a bat cave and all the space I could possibly want for my books? I'm a 24 year old with a useless university degree doing data entry, I don't own a car, and I still live with my parents.

And I haven't finished writing a book. Any book.

Through their perseverance, any hurricane becomes an orderly thing of beauty, just like that!

Okay. So it took me an hour to tidy my desk. Behold!



An orderly thing of beauty!





You don't believe me, do you? Look closely at those pictures. Notice something? Like, the surface of the desk is actually visible?

When it's time for romance, the male Metal Rooster has no trouble at all, love just abounds; the female has a tendency to keep to herself, making connections less freely, but lastingly when they happen.

Uh huh.

As [not many] young girls do, I went through an astronomy phase. Space was great, space was awesome, it was all happening out there. I read up all the over-simplified and not actually true information on black holes and red giants, and felt terribly claustrophobic pondering the fact that I'd never get off this little rock called Earth.

Then, I found out the universe was expanding, and everything was going further away.

That crushed me, as only 8 year old girls can be crushed. Eventually, there would be no more stars in the sky. (As I hadn't thought it through properly, and while the universe may be expanding, the galaxy isn't.)

Then I grew out of astronomy, and moved on to horses and dolphins, as a great many young girls do.

Now I'm a big girl. Possibly I'm even a woman. When I walk home in the middle of the night, the street lights, building lights, house lights, car lights, drown the stars, and I can barely see any in the sky. They don't have to run away, we're pushing them out of the night all on our own.

And this crushes me, as only a 24 year old girl/woman can be crushed.