The Cliche In My Ribs

I drove today, for the first time in months. Had my down jacket on, which is like wearing my bed, so snug and warm I had the window down and the cold night air on my face. The music up loud. Hollering incoherently on the downhill rush.

There was nothing special about my destination, and nothing out of the ordinary had happened in the day. It was just a sudden moment of utter exuberance.

They say, "It felt like I was going to burst." As if the organs with which we produce and feel our emotions are housed in our ribs, as if these intangible moods have the power to put physical strain upon those ribs, as if there were a serious danger of physically exploding with joy.

It's a cliche because it's overused, and it's overused because it's true.

I wanted to carry this bubble of happy on and blow it bigger. A night bar hopping and talking ludicrous shit and giggles is exactly what is required, but alas, my possee are overseas or out of town or otherwise engaged.

Instead, I'm at my parents, got the house to myself, sprawled on the couch with a cup of tea at my side, the World Cup on their fuck-off big TV, nice toasty gas heater killing even the hint of a chill, and the two best dogs in world jonsing for space on my lap.

Not quite the same as mischief and mayhem. Not a second prize either. My heart is still puffed up and manic. There's ice cream in my future.

Being me is fucking glee-inducing. For no reason whatsoever. My ribs aren't used to this.

until next time

An incredible cloud front just rolled past my window.



After that clear cut and dark leading edge passed, the belly was dragged by, green-tinged in the thinner areas, which you can juuuuust make out in the photo.



Then, it shat down.



Not bad, for pointing and shooting through my dirty-ass windows.

Rain bands have been passing by all day. Should be an immense help putting the fires out. Cleaned up the air. My imagination tells me the trees look greener. Some deeper sense of obligation that sees me conserving water where ever possible has relaxed, just a touch.

I could get used to this.

THE WORLD IS JUST OARSUM

Gakked from good ol' Deep Sea News, this amazing totally giddifying video of a special night time dive on offer in Maui, Hawaii, where they stick you on a rope and drop you 60ft down with one small flashlight.



I think I just creamed my pants. There's a colony jelly in there! And those mad little underwater blowflies hopped up on eccy! And flashing lights! And see through beasties! And space ships! And he's asking whether or not he should go.

I R ded.

And I need to go to Hawaii. And learn to dive.

/end nightshift

Heart Attack, Happy Dance, Can't Get This

I had a heart attack today, although not in the usual sense. It would be more accurate to say that I had an attack of the heart. Although not a day goes by in which my heart does not feel under attack from the world at large, so perhaps it would be more accurate to say 'this thing happened'.

Today, this thing happened.

I took a moment to zone out - from the report I was doing, the conversations around me, the various radios fighting for earspace, the office lights - and from nowhere felt sad. Not a wave a sadness, as that implies direction. It was a pulse, from the heart, and it thumped out like blood, just once, and faded away. It blindsided me. I hadn't been coasting near thoughts that made me sad, and I had not spent the day fighting off melancholy, in fact it was quite a cackle filled shift. It was pure sadness too, not tainted with regret, anger, despair or any other sort of emotion so easily confused with it. I sat quietly until it went away.

It's a puzzle, and I've been chewing over it since it happened. Normally I'm quite good at figuring out my own triggers, and why I react to something in any one way, but this sadness had no trigger. It was not a reaction. It shouldn't have been felt, and even as it spread through my limbs a part of me was already analysing and confused. I don't know where it came from, and having decided that I won't ever know that, I've started chasing sillier thoughts, and wonder if maybe some particular combination of lights and sounds or the way my gaze slid across this particular sentence triggered some flex in my brain, or connected the sadness dots, just for one pulse.

If I could find the sounds and movement to spontaneously trigger glee, I would bomb you with it.

Here is a video of people dancing around the world (as filched from boingboing).


Where the Hell is Matt? (2008) from Matthew Harding on Vimeo.

It is quite unabashedly full of joy, glee, dorkery, and is beautiful. It made me think of my sad pulse. Sadness is a strange emotion, elusive and quiet and rare. It is beautiful, perhaps the calmest of all the negative emotions. Joy and sadness are not so different, methinks. They're as hard to find as each other.

Someone came to this blog using "CAN I GET TESS" in google. The answer is "yes". The next question is "but why would you?"

BOOM DE YADAAAA

I loved this xkcd comic, but having learned of its source, I love it moar.



Several times this clip has been watched, and will be watched again, and I think I'm going to seek out an mp3. SBS used the line "the world is an amazing place" for years, and may still do. Lack of TV exposure in recent months amplifies my ignorance in this field. It's a great line, and very true, but it's delivered by the SBS voice over guy, and he's...well, he's the SBS voice over guy. He has a Deep Serious Meaningful Voice. Whereas this ad revels in dorky glee, and "the world is just awesome" is a sentence that does the same.

True glee is very, very dorky.

From BoingBoing, images of London and the rising sea levels.



Which is almost exactly what I was aiming for with this 7wishes post, except I don't believe London will have crocodiles. I don't know how my new abode would cope with a rising sea, I suspect the sea wouldn't reach it particularly fast. I'm not on the ground floor anyway. Don't need to worry about flooding, just crocodiles. The flyscreen comes off and the window is wind out. I could cast lines out the bedroom and catch lunch, just like these women.