Aside from a really bad photo, that's the current issue of Weird Tales. I just finished eating it, partial to All In by Peter Atwood, How I Got Here by Ramsey Shehadeh, and Evolution by Karen Heuler. Nom nom nom.
Ann, being a rocking sort of person, sent me spare copies. I have four to give away, so leave a comment and I'll send you one. I'd say first come first served, but if you're feeling particularly creative and come up with a compelling reason as to why you should get a copy, then I have no choice but to be compelled to give you one. You know what I'm after, blatant lies and blackmail attempts. Amuse me!
ETA: I'm going to leave this up for a couple more days before, er, probably pulling names out of a hat, 'cause you guys are too funny. I'm not afraid of paying international postage either.
One of the stories in it, is in fact, my goldfish's. It wrote it a under a nom de plume and, thanks to a mix up in mail addresses, It did not receive its contributor copy. I have reason to believe it was accidently sent to an ex-Politian who wears a panama hat. Subsequent attempts to rectify the mistake failed miserably because no one believes salesmen - even if the alternative is believing a corrupt politician with zero dress sense.
ReplyDeleteMy compelling reason is "I want" but I could claim the evils of the last few weeks. You do realise, that this is one of the few volumes *anywhere* that might match with my current reality.
ReplyDeleteExcept you want lies, and that's the truth.
How about "My life is drear and deadly and I am in danger of turning into someone who polishes bathroom floors with toothbrushes then uses them to brush her teeth, as a way of inciting change, any change, in an unutterably predictable and tedious existence." I can send you an old toothbrush, too. You know, to prove I don't lie.
How about name, social security number & live-journal account.
ReplyDeleteOf the company man who looked in on you & Jeff a while back.
Moral blackmail: I need it for market research. Having a story in WT would be awesome... but I can't submit without research, can I? I know you wouldn't want that.
ReplyDeleteBribery: Well, I was planning on taking you to dinner at Punch Lane next time I'm in Melbourne anyway, so I suppose I can't expect it to kindly dispose you toward my petition in any way whatsoever...
Do I know what that is?
ReplyDelete(outrageous flattery) Yes. It's a hot chick with alluringly unkempt hair holding some book or other.
(blatant lie) Yes. It's an encrypted copy of the Necronomicon, cunningly disguised to lure hapless fools into reading it and being driven to gibbering insanity, ftaghn!
(blackmail) Send me a copy now or I'll keep spamming you with up ever more embarrassing flattery.
Aw, there are FIVE OF YOU. I'll leave this open a few more days, so I don't have to pick one person to miss out, 'cause that's far too nasty to do. And 'cause you're all very very amusing, heh.
ReplyDeleteI should say this is open to internationals as well.
Well I'm not a very convincing liar and I dunno how well I'd do at bribery... but would it help if I said I'm in some weird town all on my own in the middle-of-fucking-nowhere-fairly-northern-Canada and for all the walking I've done so far I have yet to find a single bookstore, and I found the library but it's far away and was closed and I need to go back but I don't have high hopes for it since it's a town of oil workers who flood into town after weeks of working and spend their excess thousands on porn, gambling and rediculously large trucks and the one book I brought with me in my limited travelling space I read by the time I got halfway out here?
ReplyDeleteAnd I can bat some mean eyelashes too... *puppy eyes*
Yay! Open to international postage!
ReplyDeleteAs for a compelling reason, you get to ship something to the Philippines! Oh wait, that's going to be expensive for you...
P.S. The photo ain't bad!