Don't you dare! Anyway, where would you find hemlock at this time of night? And also, "happy, normal, sane and well-adjusted"? It's amazing how many folk present a fine and convincing facade of those qualities.
Happy, normal, sane, and well-adjusted are all relative.
Happy being relative to the amount of beer you can drink on a Saturday, chiefly between the hours of ten and two.
Normal being relative to the amount of body peircings (I no longer have any, but the holes are forever, people),tattoos (I have five), and implants you have, and/or the quantity of eyeliner you may or may not wear; black fingernails, Danzig T-shirt and book of Japanese Death Poems (http://www.amazon.com/Japanese-Death-Poems-Written-Monks/dp/0804831793/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/105-4966150-8307663?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1193505303&sr=1-1) are optional.
Sane is relative to the amount of acid you may or may not have dropped during a misspent youth (no comment), and/or the amount of meds you must take every morning to keep from choking the shit out of just about everyone (again, no comment).
And, lastly, well-adjusted is relative to how much time you may or may not have spent in prison, and/or if you actually believe in rehabilitation (I've never been to prison, and when asked on job application whether I've ever been convicted of a felony, I usually write "never CONVICTED".)
In closing, I'd like to validate my post with a T-shirt (accepted as scientific evidence in 49 of our 50 states over here in the Red, White, and Blue.
Fri night, a workmate coaxed me out to drinks to celebrate her leaving our illustrious workplace. She took me to the Bar on the Hill - one of the bars at my old uni. Whooboy. Wanna feel oooooold and shrivelled up and outta place, go back to your old uni bar long, long after you shouldn't be there any more.
I don't recommend crushed glass; I've read that perforated intestines are quite painful! Of course the hemlock might counteract that, but then what would be the point?
Besides, being well-adjusted is no fun. You never do anything outrageous and never have any great cane-waving stories to tell. How boring!
I'm drinking wine for dinner tonite. Then I shall fall into blissfully drunken sleep and awaken in the middle of the night with "er...wah?" sort of thoghts.
But I don't like the happy, normal, sane, well-adjusted types. They tend to be boring and I lose interest and wander away to find the cool people I'm friends with.
7 comments:
Don't you dare! Anyway, where would you find hemlock at this time of night? And also, "happy, normal, sane and well-adjusted"? It's amazing how many folk present a fine and convincing facade of those qualities.
Happy, normal, sane, and well-adjusted are all relative.
Happy being relative to the amount of beer you can drink on a Saturday, chiefly between the hours of ten and two.
Normal being relative to the amount of body peircings (I no longer have any, but the holes are forever, people),tattoos (I have five), and implants you have, and/or the quantity of eyeliner you may or may not wear; black fingernails, Danzig T-shirt and book of Japanese Death Poems (http://www.amazon.com/Japanese-Death-Poems-Written-Monks/dp/0804831793/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/105-4966150-8307663?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1193505303&sr=1-1) are optional.
Sane is relative to the amount of acid you may or may not have dropped during a misspent youth (no comment), and/or the amount of meds you must take every morning to keep from choking the shit out of just about everyone (again, no comment).
And, lastly, well-adjusted is relative to how much time you may or may not have spent in prison, and/or if you actually believe in rehabilitation (I've never been to prison, and when asked on job application whether I've ever been convicted of a felony, I usually write "never CONVICTED".)
In closing, I'd like to validate my post with a T-shirt (accepted as scientific evidence in 49 of our 50 states over here in the Red, White, and Blue.
http://www.printfection.com/tshirttrauma?productid=1163106&mode=add&items=1&storeid=17895&show_invoptid=0&show_sideid=2227101&productsideid=2227101&tab=1&show_option_num=1&keywords=&id=71948&level=1&product_location=0&store_page=&color1=2719&size1=0&qty1=1&color2=2719&qty2=1&color3=2719&qty3=1&color4=2719&qty4=1&color5=2719&qty5=1
Fri night, a workmate coaxed me out to drinks to celebrate her leaving our illustrious workplace. She took me to the Bar on the Hill - one of the bars at my old uni. Whooboy. Wanna feel oooooold and shrivelled up and outta place, go back to your old uni bar long, long after you shouldn't be there any more.
I don't recommend crushed glass; I've read that perforated intestines are quite painful! Of course the hemlock might counteract that, but then what would be the point?
Besides, being well-adjusted is no fun. You never do anything outrageous and never have any great cane-waving stories to tell. How boring!
I'm drinking wine for dinner tonite. Then I shall fall into blissfully drunken sleep and awaken in the middle of the night with "er...wah?" sort of thoghts.
You should try it. It's awful.
But I don't like the happy, normal, sane, well-adjusted types. They tend to be boring and I lose interest and wander away to find the cool people I'm friends with.
Like you.
No crushed glass 'n hemlock, pls. I'd miss you.
Noo! Who will I live with when I move to Australia? :(((
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